Thursday, April 23, 2009 up the unimportant

Today is DAY 16 since I had my last smoke...

YUP! I had quit smoking! Finally...after 11 years and 2 failed attempts.

I finally realize that the important , after a while becomes 'unimportant'...

Thursday, April 9, 2009

...all about Vicks vapoRub & quitting smoking!

Talk about falling sick! Astham attack last week... Food poisoning this week..
What next... tonsils infection?! (Sorry Jo!)... :)

Anyway, I stopped smoking yeasterday. Today is officially DAY 2! And I intend on keeping it going... here's to good health (minus the cigarettes, asthma attacks, stomach cramps...& yada yada yada!)...

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

...getting stabbed in the heart with a blunt fork!

Could you imagine how horrible things would be if we always told others how we felt? Life would be intolerably bearable.
- Randy K. Milholland

I had accidentally blurted it out the other day. Not literally... but I HAD let it slip out. And I was confronted for that 'slip' last night. I love surprises. I do...but not in this context. I should say that I'm a very private person, when it comes to my angst, sorrows, misery...even tears! My joys I LOVE sharing though.

I had no need to say out loud how I feel/ felt of one particular Mr G... Or so I thought! And I had tried...tried, to keep it all nicely wrapped up... Hidden away in some corner of my be forgotten at some point or another!!! Not to be shared with anyone, least of all- HIM!

Of course, when one is confronted of certain issues, from the way I see it there are 2 options:

  1. Deny everything & act dumb
  2. Just own up... tell em' the truth, like it is...

Me being me, went with option No. 2. And now I feel like crap. He didn't want me (gosh! That was painful to even type out!)...not in that sense. He's not ready for any form of a 'relationship' with anyone at this point. I happen to be the most interesting person he of em, enjoys my company, talking to me, there's no need to do anything but to just be himself around me. That bit of info made me feel like I'm one of the guys instead!

So here I am, feeling all mixed up inside. I need to put this aside and move on. HOW? you ask.... Honestly, I have no freaking idea. Right now, apart from the big gaping hole that I already had in place for GOD- knows- how- long in my chest, it feels as if I was stabbed with a blunt fork in the exact same place too!